I know.

How Do I Know That I Love Him?

Josh and I have been dating for just over six months. Last week my family and I went to the Oregon Coast for a small family reunion. (Small meaning it was me, my parents, my two brothers and their families.) I begged Josh a number of times to take a couple days off work and come visit us at the beach but he told me again and again that he had already taken too much time off work and couldn't come. I've been to this beach town every year since I was a little girl and I really wanted him to be a part of these memories. The week went pretty well. There were a few bumps along the way but overall it was fun spending time with my family and being in such a beautiful place. Wednesday night was pretty stressful in that little cabin. We had seven adults, two large dogs and five children under the age of four. After a bit of family drama (almost inescapable in such close knit quarters) I decided to walk down to the beach alone. The sun was just starting to set so it was just before dusk. I didn't tell anyone where I was headed and split for the beach. I was really overwhelmed with everything that was going on so I called Josh. I know that when I'm sad Josh is the one I want to talk to. He can always cheer me up and make everything better. I told him what was going on and just walked along the water while I vented for 20 or 30 minutes. I just kept saying, "I just wish you were here and we could be together. It would make this whole trip just that much better." I got in some trouble for taking off like that at dusk but I won't go into much of that detail. The next day I woke up with a wretched migraine. I couldn't believe it. We had planned out our whole week and Thursday was beach day! It was the day I was looking forward to most. I couldn't wait to spend the whole day playing on the beach with my nieces and nephews and taking their pictures (which I love to do). I laid in bed for a few hours that morning just trying to fight it off as best as possible. I didn't bring my migrane prescription so I had to fight it off with Tylenol and ibuprofen. Around 11:00am my mom came in and told me she had found this red purse she wanted to buy and that she wanted me out of bed and at the store to help her decide if she wanted it. I knew she'd lost her mind when she said it was $79. My mom would never spend that much on anything! She said something about forgetting the shower and throwing my hair up in a ponytail. She said some fresh air would do me some good. I didn't move for another 30 minutes or so. My mom came back in, this time a tad more rushed and said she had talked to Dad and he wanted to take pictures of me on the beach today too so I needed to shower and look decent at the beach. I never pass up opportunity for nice pictures on the beach so I worked my way to the shower. I wore a new outfit and curled my hair. My two brothers and dad had gone to Salem to deliver this book to someone in Joe's ward. He had to help out the bishopric because his father-in-law is the bishop and him and his wife were on a cruise. Anyways, they finally got back and we headed down to the beach. We got all the kids out of the car and started trekking the beach. I offered to help Karen with the kids but she just kept asking my mom to help. Odd. We walked down a little further and then I spotted someone I recognized. I recognized his clothes first. I knew that outfit, then the face registered. It was Josh. But even though I knew it was him, I was so dumbfounded that I couldn't move a muscle. My family said I turned bright red. I was overwhelmed. I had no idea he was going to come! He totally faked me out. Once everything kicked in and I realized it was him and he was actually there I threw my camera down (eeee...$500 camera) and ran to him.

I jumped in his arms and he spun me around. It really was just like the movies.

All I could say was "Josh, what are you doing here?" He said something like, "Look to your left." Supposedly I looked but I didn't see anything. All I saw was sand. But written in the sand directly to my right (lol) was "Will You Marry Me?"

I turned back and he was getting down on one knee. Talk about surprise! He said my full name and then asked me to marry him. Complete joy swept over my body as I said yes and gave him a big hug. It was a completely surreal feeling. I couldn't believe how bad he tricked me.

The ring was beautiful. It's so simple, just like I wanted but it is unique. It's a floating diamond but a higher floater than most. The band is white gold and somewhat thick. I love it.

We hugged and smiled a ton. I had never been happier than I was that moment.

I came to find out that the "book" the boys drove to Salem for was Josh. They didn't go to Salem they went to Portland to pick him up from the airport. My mom's claim that my dad wanted pictures of me was a way to get me out of bed and looking decent for the proposal. The weird moment with Karen not letting me help with any of the kids was to make sure I didn't have anything precious (more precious than my camera) in my arms when I spotted Josh. Building up to the moment I couldn't have put anything together and figured it out, but looking back it was pretty obvious.

So here is my initial question again. How do I know that I love Josh?

I choose to love Josh.

No guy has ever made me as happy and Joshua does.
When I'm upset and need to talk he listens.
When I'm upset and need advice he talks.
When I'm bored he amuses me.
He can always make me laugh.
I have never felt more comfortable around anyone.
When I hear his name I smile.
When we're apart I think about him all the time.
I am always looking forward to the next time I see him.
My favorite place is in his arms.
He protects me from harm.
He tells me he loves me.
He brings out qualities I didn't know I had.
He compliments me even when I'm at my worst.
I feel sick when I think about not ever being with him.
I get butterflies when I think about spending my life with him.

I am in love with him.

...and that's how I know.